I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted, for better or worse. Then over time I started feeling more and more ill until I hit breaking point and had to figure out what was going on. It took a year of elimination dieting to figure out that FODMAPs were the culprit. It’s a collection of food chemicals that are found in various things, and to the layperson there is very little rhyme or reason to what is fine and what isn’t. Thank god for Monash University’s FODMAP app, which became my bible. Some people are only sensitive to some FODMAPs but I’m sensitive to all of them except one. It is very weird that this only came on in my mid-30s, but bizarrely enough the same thing has happened to other members of my family.

It’s easy for someone to take a look at the food list and go “well you can’t eat anything, how can you actually survive”? I love to cook and cook every day. Over the last few years I’ve found plenty of ways to adapt things, and there are plenty of meals that work just fine without onion, garlic, and the other things I must avoid. For instance, I make chicken risotto all the time. I use chicken broth and no wine, and that’s 100% FODMAP free. Parmesan is very low in lactose, so is totally tolerable. Delicious. There are also numerous stir fry recipes that are fine, as long as you leave out veggies that cause issues. I eat meat and fish, so marinades are great for grilled foods. There are quite a lot of things I can still do.

The real problem though is when I’m going out to eat, or going over someone else’s house. It really makes socialising difficult and traveling especially. I have to work with what I’m given, though, and if friends are especially patient they might like the challenge of dealing with my requirements. Others decide it’s all too hard and I can sense that and I just bring my own food. I can’t decide if that bothers me or not, but it puts me in an awkward position where they’ve already invited me over and now I’m making them do extra work. Oh well, it happens.

I guess the takeaway here (lol food pun) is that there are ways around these sorts of things if you get creative. If anyone is dealing FODMAP difficulties or wants some ideas for recipes, I suggest Monash University’s Low FODMAP Cookbook, which can be found at your retailer of choice. I’m still learning and coming up with ways to expand what I can do, but over time it does get more manageable. Just be REALLY careful when you look online for low FODMAP recipes because I swear 90% of them aren’t low FODMAP at all and either the person has a fundamental misunderstanding of what they’re doing, or they’re purposefully adding the term for clicks and have no interest in it whatsoever. I’ve come across so many recipes that could do some real damage.

I was halfway to a Masters degree in History when I had to bail for financial reasons, but it never stopped me from continuing to study. When I mention this to people, I sometimes get a strong reaction. So many people say they hated studying history because they had some very unsuccessful, draconian high school teacher who made them memorise dates and didn’t make the subject engaging at all. Here is where Antiques Roadshow comes in. I can’t think of a show that interweaves lived experience with history any more than this show that is stereotypically watched by grandmas with a blanket on their lap.

There are things in common with the folks who are on this show. A great many of them have suffered a loss, and are on the show to see what the story is behind a family heirloom. I’ve never inherited anything notable other than a drawer full of my grandpa’s old sketches and art supplies, but I don’t think I’d have the strength to go on national television to talk about it. These are human stories and while the history of inherited objects are discussed, it is interwoven with the emotion involved in receiving the item and the fond attachment people have towards a watch, or a statue, or a painting that has been on the wall for 30 years. Then there are the people who have rock memorabilia, or a dress from the 60s, and they’re showing a passion for history and making it quite clear why these things actually matter.

One can look at this show and go “well that’s materialism”, but what about the other folks who bring in artifacts? There are some problematic ones, especially the white folks who show up with ceremonial swords from the South Pacific and such, but they are objects of significance and societal value. The ancient things someone dug up in their garden show us how we used to live, and all of this is explained in great detail by someone who has more experience than I ever will. There is a passion here, both from the folks who bring in their items, and the people telling them the story.

History is a story, it is made up of people experiencing excitement and great loss. Those unfortunate former students who slogged through some ineffective high school course were unfortunately deprived of the vividness of the people and things who came before us. Maybe they need a blanket, a cup of tea, and an episode of Antiques Roadshow.

For the purposes of a quick explanation, I just looked up “gongoozling” in the Cambridge Dictionary and the first example sentence is this: “Everyone is entitled to have a weird hobby, such as historical re-enactment or gongoozling (standing and staring at canal activity without participating).” Jeez, way to be judgy there, dictionary. While I don’t technically stand there (Australia has a distinct lack of a canal system), I do sit there and watch any sort of documentary or other related show that I can get my hands on. 99% of this is based in Britain, and I know far more than I am willing to admit about its extensive system. 

One of my favourite shows is Canal Boat Diaries with Robbie Cumming. It follows his life as a person who lives on his canal boat 100% of the time. You get to see his challenges (oops he fell in) but also the beauty of it all. The pace is slow, the scenery is stunning and his enthusiasm is infectious. He makes clearing out a weed hatch into an interesting activity. Another good resource for canal information is a fantastic documentary series with Dan Jones called Building Britain’s Canals. I may have watched it 3 or 4 times now. The gritty and dirty history of Britain’s canal network during the Industrial Revolution, and its ups and downs as it is then converted to a leisure location, is really fascinating to watch. 

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